He's lost him utterly, and from now on he seeks

in the lips of every new lover that he takes

the lips of that one. His. He longs to be mistaken:

that it's the same young man, that he's giving himself to him.

He's lost him utterly, as if he'd never been.

Because he wished – he said – he wished to save himself

from that stigmatized pleasure – he wished to save himself

from that stigmatized pleasure, in it's shame.

There was still time, he said – time to save himself.

He's lost him utterly, as if he'd never been.

In his imagination, in his delusions,

in the lips of other youths, he seeks the lips of that one;

He wishes that he might feel his love again.